wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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