i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
