apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
