So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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