Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
