He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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