When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
