how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
