Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
