i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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