i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
