i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
