Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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