Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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