I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
