i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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