He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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