Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
