I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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