We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
