I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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