guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
