since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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