I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i came on her dog
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
