Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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