Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
