Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The ass gains better be worth it
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