it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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