why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
