i permit you to call me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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