have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
