we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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