So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sober January is a disaster.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
