Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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