she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
