also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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