meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
