Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
