Plan B is the new Plan A
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
