Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
