why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
