Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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