even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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