I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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