Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
