Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
