i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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