i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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