it was like eating out sand paper
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
