Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
